While turning in my final, before I could gush to my English professor about how amazing his corse was, he jumps in and says with a big smile, “I really enjoyed you in class.” I turned into a spazzy puddle of compliments. Coming from him, that was a high compliment.

It’s rare to have a community college professor who a) co-wrote the book, which was very useful, and b) teaches to a 4 year university level.

I would leave his class exhausted from the class discussion and have never labored over papers like I did. It was truly an amazing experience. Especially sense I’m not an English major and everyone else in the class was. It didn’t seem like he dumbed down the material for the “high school with ash trays” city college students.

So in the middle of discussing this poem one stanza at a time I BLURT the FU@K out, “OH! He’s in the friend-zone” The instructor laughed and REFUSED to acknowledge my comment. Why? I beat all the other community collegemonaut’s to the punch. Or I let the stupid out. One of the two. 

1. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse

A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,

Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.

Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo

Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,

Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

LET us go then, you and I,    

When the evening is spread out against the sky        

Like a patient etherized upon a table;

Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,        

The muttering retreats                    5

Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels  

And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

Streets that follow like a tedious argument    

Of insidious intent     

To lead you to an overwhelming question….         10

Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”

Let us go and make our visit. 

In the room the women come and go 

Talking of Michelangelo.       

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,          15

The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes         

Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,     

Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,           

Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,      

Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,           20

And seeing that it was a soft October night, 

Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time

For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,    

Rubbing its back upon the window panes;             25

There will be time, there will be time

To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;   

There will be time to murder and create,       

And time for all the works and days of hands           

That lift and drop a question on your plate;          30

Time for you and time for me,           

And time yet for a hundred indecisions,        

And for a hundred visions and revisions,      

Before the taking of a toast and tea.  

In the room the women come and go          35

Talking of Michelangelo.       

And indeed there will be time

To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”  

Time to turn back and descend the stair,       

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—          40

(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)      

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,    

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—           

(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)        

Do I dare                 45

Disturb the universe? 

In a minute there is time        

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.      

For I have known them all already, known them all: 

Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,              50

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;      

I know the voices dying with a dying fall      

Beneath the music from a farther room.        

  So how should I presume?   

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—                 55

The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,           

And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,       

When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,

Then how should I begin       

To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?         60

  And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—       

Arms that are braceleted and white and bare 

(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)          

Is it perfume from a dress               65

That makes me so digress?    

Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.   

  And should I then presume?

  And how should I begin?

.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets                 70

And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes    

Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…  

I should have been a pair of ragged claws      

Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!                   75

Smoothed by long fingers,     

Asleep … tired … or it malingers,     

Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.        

Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,

Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?          80

But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,         

Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,         

I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;           

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,       

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,              85

And in short, I was afraid.     

And would it have been worth it, after all,    

After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,         

Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,        

Would it have been worth while,                90

To have bitten off the matter with a smile,   

To have squeezed the universe into a ball     

To roll it toward some overwhelming question,        

To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead, 

Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—                 95

If one, settling a pillow by her head, 

  Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;          

  That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,    

Would it have been worth while,                100

After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,        

After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—        

And this, and so much more?—        

It is impossible to say just what I mean!      

But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:            105

Would it have been worth while        

If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,       

And turning toward the window, should say:           

  “That is not it at all,

  That is not what I meant, at all.”

.      .      .      .      .      .      .      .

        110

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;   

Am an attendant lord, one that will do          

To swell a progress, start a scene or two,     

Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,    

Deferential, glad to be of use,         115

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;      

Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;          

At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—           

Almost, at times, the Fool.    

I grow old … I grow old …            120

I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.         

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?          

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.          

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.       

I do not think that they will sing to me.                 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves          

Combing the white hair of the waves blown back     

When the wind blows the water white and black.     

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea  

By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown           130

Till human voices wake us, and we drown.